Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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