The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
