Christians are straight up FREAKS
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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