Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x

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(602): View more from Arizona

just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish

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(936): View more from Texas

You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home

(254): View more from Texas

Challenge accepted.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

You're welcome.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.

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(209): View more from California

Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

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(516): View more from New York

Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?

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