All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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