love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't notice because vodka
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
