dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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