We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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