I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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