Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
