I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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