My first STD was from a foam party
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize