You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
