i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
