Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
