We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
