Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The uberlube is also flammable
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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