We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
