i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
