At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
