I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
