from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
