You really coming over, don't trick.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
