Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
