Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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