On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
