found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
