She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
