So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
