too bad you live with your parents still
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
