Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
