I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
