Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
