whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
