Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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