so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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