ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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