everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
