porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
