When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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