What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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