Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
