She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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