nutella sex= disaster
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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