i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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