Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
