the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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