He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
