my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
