shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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