walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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