you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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