Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
