Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
