i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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