we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
